In 2024 I Want to Be Destroyed
By Sazzy Hughes

It makes sense in a way

All my life
I’ve seen everything be created and everything be destroyed
I’ve outgrown clothes homes skins and Gods

If there has to be something that we worship
I would want it to be love
I would want it to be something bent and mended and held in our hands
I would want it to be destroyed
If there has to be something that we worship
I don’t want to have it forever

I remembered the time that I dreamed a whole life in one night
The home that i grew up in, 5 brothers 5 sisters
To growing old with them in the same home
Just to have it stolen from me when I woke up
I asked my mom that morning to help me find the home i once had

It will always be this way
I will never be old
Everything will multiply
I am okay with being destroyed
As long there are still people to love
I want to be destroyed

Owning It
By Sazzy Hughes

My hand pretends not to recognize my neck so I'm able to touch my body in a way that only a stranger can

I wrote it in a friends notes app after our yoga class
He told me that later, when he read it, it felt like something he wrote

Another devastating reminder that I don't own my feelings
That I don't own a single thing
But every single place is my home

I can’t give my words away so I curse myself with the ability to say what I think and hope nobody remembers

So I tell strangers that I am feeling emotional
And that I love them
And that I’m homesick
And that they can come over any time
And that I am sorry
And that some day really soon I will send that letter to them that I wrote 4 months ago

Some day really soon I will be ready for people to have me